Romantics have sensitive feelings, are warm and perceptive. This page is an attempt to explain this even further. Please note that I have taken the liberty to use some material from the following site: www.9types.com. I can recommend this site highly for those who would like to investigate these interesting ideas further.


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Healthy loop:

(controlled by Basic Desire)
Need for self-understanding->examine self->understand themselves-> need for self-understanding.

In the healthy state, the need for self-understanding induces Type Fours to allow their emotions to surface and examine these emotions in order to understand themselves. When Fours achieve self-understanding, their need is satisfied and a balance is reached.

In the average state, when Fours' do not examine closely their emotions, they start to not understand themselves. This increases the need for self-understanding, which helps Fours to again examine themselves. Thus the balancing loop can help Fours to recover.

Unhealthy loop:

(controlled by Basic Fear)
Fear of being defective -> indulge in fantasy-> understand themselves -> fear of being defective.

In the unhealthy state, the basic fear of being defective can cause Type Fours to ignore their true selves, allow their emotions to overwhelm them, and indulge in wild fantasy about themselves. This means they will understand themselves even less, and further increases Fours' basic fear. The cycle continues to build up.

Insight: We can see from the diagram that a way to help break the control of the basic fear is to weaken the unhealthy loop. Fours can refrain from indulging in fantasy and start examining themselves. This will help Fours to understand themselves, and reduce the fear of being defective.
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How to Get Along with Me :

  • Give me plenty of compliments. They mean a lot to me.
  • Be a supportive friend or partner. Help me to learn to love and value myself.
  • Respect me for my special gifts of intuition and vision.
  • Though I don't always want to be cheered up when I'm feeling melancholy, I sometimes like to have someone lighten me up a little.
  • Don't tell me I'm too sensitive or that I'm overreacting!

What I Like About Being a Four :

  • my ability to find meaning in life and to experience feeling at a deep level
  • my ability to establish warm connections with people
  • admiring what is noble, truthful, and beautiful in life
  • my creativity, intuition, and sense of humor
  • being unique and being seen as unique by others
  • having aesthetic sensibilities
  • being able to easily pick up the feelings of people around me

What's Hard About Being a Four :

  • experiencing dark moods of emptiness and despair
  • feelings of self-hatred and shame; believing I don't deserve to be loved
  • feeling guilty when I disappoint people
  • feeling hurt or attacked when someone misunderstands me
  • expecting too much from myself and life
  • fearing being abandoned
  • obsessing over resentments
  • longing for what I don't have

Fours as Children Often :

  • have active imaginations: play creatively alone or organize playmates in original game s
  • are very sensitive
  • feel that they don't fit in
  • believe they are missing something that other people have
  • attach themselves to idealized teachers, heroes, artists, etc.
  • become anti-authoritarian or rebellious when criticized or not understood
  • feel lonely or abandoned (perhaps as a result of a death or their parents' divorce)

Fours as Parents :

  • help their children become who they really are
  • support their children's creativity and originality
  • are good at helping their children get in touch with their feelings
  • are sometimes overly critical or overly protective
  • are usually very good with children if not too self-absorbed
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Who is this guy?
Just your regular down-to-earth kind of person who spends most of his time pursuing a pseudo-balanced life in the best of all perfect worlds.
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