Gibberations by Kiffin Gish...
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917 entries
Thursday / November 29th / 2001
Growing a beard can be hazardous to your health...

Me in ten years.
Growing a beard can be a new and interesting challenge in life. Stubbles and itchiness, followed by a full flowing covering of fur to keep you warm and hide your mug. There are advantages, but there are also disadvantages. Here is a list to help you compare and decide for yourself.


  • looks really cool and different.
  • you do not have to shave every morning.
  • distinctive look and wise visage.

  • gives one confidence to confront issues.
  • hides your ugly mug pretty well.
  • nice change of appearance.
  • covers up pimples and blemishes nicely.
  • a new image and philosophy in life.
  • extreme itchiness, at least in the beginning.
  • grey spots make you look old.

  • shocks some people.
  • collects food crumbs without you knowing it.
  • not very representative of the company.

  • you look like a criminal.
  • comes across as hostile or antagonistic.
  • repeated taliban jokes behind your back.

There is no clear winner between the advantages and the disadvantages. Weighing both sides of the issue and putting them in perspective should give you a better indication of whether or not it is a good idea for you too to grow a beard. Seriously now. Have you ever truly wondered what a beard is by definition? What are the common beliefs centered around the phenomenon called a beard? I have, endlessly of course. I stole the following official definition from site:

beard(bîrd) n.

  1. The hair on a man's chin, cheeks, and throat.
  2. A hairy or hairlike growth such as that on or near the face of certain mammals.
  3. A tuft or group of hairs or bristles on certain plants, such as barley and wheat.
  4. One who serves to divert suspicion or attention from another.
  5. Printing. The raised slope on a piece of type between the shoulder or counter and the face. Also called neck.
tr.v. beard·ed, beard·ing, beards

  1. To furnish with a beard.

  2. To confront boldly.

[Middle English berd, from Old English beard. See bhardh-- in Indo-European Roots.]

beardless adj.

Okay, that's pretty much it for beards right now. Getting carried away again. I will keep my readers updated on the future of my beard. Itch, itch.

~ Posted at 08:42 AM | Miscellaneous
436 visitors
So far there are 11 comments.

Thanks man. I am going to try to get past the itchiness. I tried to grow a beard once before, but the itching drove me nuts and i shaved. This time i am going to try for real.

- Posted by chad at November 2, 2003 04:33 AM

Hey, thanks for the tips and stuff, but I have a question.
Right now I have side burns that come to about the edge of my mouth and under my chin there is prickly hair aswell but I need tips on shaving it so I can finally grow a beard.
Please help me out, thanks!

- Posted by Jim at May 20, 2004 09:27 PM

Tip for you, Jim: remove it all!

Cheers, A.T.

- Posted by andrew at August 5, 2004 05:06 AM

Jim if you're still struggling with that prickly hair, the first thing you're going to have to do is grab a facial scrub like an apricot scrub to really dig out any of the in grown hairs and get those prickly ones upright and standing out rather than towards your skin. Once you get that done you can go for a clean shave then scrub every other day to keep the new prickly hair fresh and growing out into your new beard. But really, why the beard? Unless you're a music or film editor you must be hiding something which could be a bigger issue. If you're not married and still dating this is an issue you want to look into. Fo shore!

- Posted by Steve Dating at August 18, 2004 08:54 PM

Hi! I'm seventeen going on eighteen and i'm irish. I'm trying to grow a good beard and have all kinds of elaborate plans in mind. However its just gowing in patches. I have a fine clump on each side of my chin, hairs are aproaching two inches in length. at the moment i have to do a comb over to give myself the appearance of a beard on my chin. any advice to get more even or thincker growth all round?

- Posted by JOhn at October 1, 2004 08:48 PM

Well, when I was your age I used a pencil to scrub in some extra darkness between the patches, but looking at old pictures that sure wasn't very convincing. But you're Irish and I thought that all Irish folks had by definition a full beard as young men -- so there is still hope young man.

- Posted by Kiffin at October 1, 2004 09:21 PM

Well, I don't know about the "hiding" part, but I think it's just too cool to have a beard. Mine has been growing in pretty evenly (it's three weeks old), but it is grey!! Oh! Well! When my wife touches up my hair (from light brown and grey to light ash blond), maybe I'll give the beard and 'stache a quick cover-up as well.

- Posted by Lewis C. Emanuel at November 29, 2004 07:11 AM

Im Irish too. meaning i have red facial hair. ive never grown a full beard, but if i did, would a red beard be sexy??Ladies?

- Posted by Kyle at December 8, 2004 06:50 PM

I'm going on two months now, and it's SLOW.. but pretty even coverage. Using a moisturizer seems to take away a lot of the irritation. The only part I'm shaving is my neck, the rest... let's just say I'm going to look like ZZ Top some day! Well, if it would just grow faster...

- Posted by Derrick at February 17, 2005 04:19 PM

hey im 15 and i started growing sidburns... i want to no wut i can do to speed up the process

- Posted by yimmak at February 26, 2005 12:06 PM

I remember back when I grew sideburns at 15. I had an afro of course and mutton chops. But I found the best way to speed up the process, and add true definition and thicker appearance is to shape them in whichever style you are trying to achieve and never give up hope. Since 15, I've shaved the afro off (i'm 18 now) i'm bald and have a beard like Isaac Hayes....whatever it is you do, it just takes dedication.

In all righteousness, peace & prosperity

Keep growing.
- Jereese

- Posted by Jereese at March 29, 2005 03:59 AM

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